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A codependent heart

2006-02-13 - 8:24 p.m.

most people don't care if they offend people on their blogs, even if 2500 people read it. I do, and maybe 5 people read this. A week. I don't want to offend people, mostly because I have a codependent heart. I feel bad for everyone, especially the guy who Alex interviewed at work the other day.

He was waiting for Alex in the lobby, and I saw him before Alex did. I was like hey Alex, the Mario Brothers are missing one of their own, and we laughed because the guy really looked like one of them. I told the story to Jiminy later, and it made me laugh again, but the guy really was a simpleton. He was a simpleton - but he was an audio genius, and knew a lot about sound. Kind of like I dated a guy once, who knew a lot about lighting a film set but not a lot about women. And he was a bit dim.

So this guy was interviewing with Alex next to me and I knew that Alex knew that I thought the whole thing was funny, and where was he going to find work for this guy? We don't have any audio jobs. We don't have a lot of jobs for ex cons either, but one called the other day and I really tried to get her in to meet with me.

"Do you hire people with a record?"

"Yes. What kind of record?"

"Robbery."

"Oh. What kind?"

"The kind with extenuating circumstances."

"Well how long did you serve?"

"Fourteen years."

"Oh. Well when did you get out?"

"Two weeks ago."

"Well yeah, no one's perfect, come on in."

"I don't want to waste your time if you can't find me anything."

"It's not a waste of my time, believe me."

I was already trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, and get one of Alex's clients to hire this receptionist I had that no one else would hire. She's nice, just very depressed, and even when I said to her hey, I have another job maybe, you want to try this again?, she'd always say well yeah, but it was like I said, would you like me to stab you with a shoe heel? That kind of reaction.

I was playing my square Peg's "ok I guess I'll try this job" message out loud again, and playing with the volume so she would sound appealing to Alex, and then he called over to me,

"Hey, why don't we let (the missing Mario brother)decide if I should send your receptionist to my client? And you know damn well they both got up and came over to my desk.

I played her message again.

"Hi Ohell...I...would like to - yes, I would like to...apply for this position, I don't know what it is, but - I'll interview if they want me..."

The audio guy was standing on his tippy toes listening intently. This could get him a job, by gosh. Alex was smiling, because Alex was using him for evil. I started to laugh when he was asked to give a synapsis.

"She's - got a lot of honestness. I can hear it. She will need some coaxing, but - I think she'll be just fine."

A giggling tear ran down my face.

"You see Ohell, he's an audio engineer, which is why I thought he'd be able to discern whether she'd be a good fit for the job."

"...and she...seems - nice and you should hire her."

Shows how much he knew, they passed on her, like so many others have.

The little victories for me are when I find those people jobs that no one else would. Their resumes have typos and coffe stains. They have long records and DUI's. They have holes in their lungs. (One guy did have a hole in his lung, but it healed, and I got him a job stuffing envelopes - which almost seems related) They bring their bloated kids with them to the interview. They beg for jobs holding Quizno's signs, then they curse people out. They threaten to sue for sexual harrassment, but they can't spell it. I love them immensely, because they're such a pain in the ass, and I don't think most of their parents love them, by the way. They're like the Bad News Bears. Which is what I'm going to call them from now on.

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