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Why my employees are the unluckiest and still the luckiest in the world

2006-02-14 - 1:09 p.m.

I found a job for a wonderful girl named Mary last week. Her cousin, who she's been living with/off of for the last month since she moved to town, was so excited that the girl finally had work, and she would no longer have to support her, that she offered to drive her there herself. Two hours after she was supposed to be at work, the client called.

"Your girl never showed up."

I knew it wasn't like that. She was the most reliable girl in my applicant pool! I knew she must have gotten lost. I would have called her directly, but she only worked through pay phones, especially ones with very bad connections, especially when I needed to get pertinent information across to her in a short period of time. Not my angel. Not my girl. But two more hours went by, and she never called.

But she did email me.

"Ohell I am soo sorry I was in an accident this morning just got back from the hospital. My cousin was driving me to the job when an suv sideswiped her . She looks a lot worse than she is though. Im just a little bruised and jostled. Im ok to work though. Again Im sorry I didnt make it. Im going to head back to the hospital to pick up my cousin but then I am available. I will check my email the minute I get home. Let me know what I need to do.

Sincerely
Mary"

It looked like I sent her to the wrong address. She was supposed to go to the West L.A. location, and I sent her downtown. Oops. I felt pretty bad about it, and I still haven't figured out if I should tell her she was en route to the wrong location, when all was said and done and smashed.

The good news: Because I like her, and because of some massive guilt, I found her a full time job. She gets a new appreciation for life, and I get to be more painstaking in my future send-outs.

Then today. Michael Jackson, the employee with the hole in his lung, (it healed) the one I sent out this morning for the envelope stuffing job, the coolest guy ever, reporting to his first assignment - didn't make it to his location either.

"Your guy Michael never showed up."

No way. He was the (second) most reliable person in my applicant pool! It was impossible, I spoke to his roommate this morning, who said he'd already left, and was very excited about the one day gig. Two hours went by and I didn't hear back from him either. Until another hour later.

"Hello Ohell? Yes I'm okay, just a little shaken up. I was in an accident, which is why I didn't make it to the job this morning. I'll bring you the accident report. I don't need it? Oh, okay - well, no I was hit twice. Once from behind, and it moved me out into the middle of traffic, and then I got hit head on. No I'm okay, really. I'm just - gonna go lay down at home, because my neck really hurts. No, I'll be taking the bus, my - car is totaled. No it's fine, thank you. I'm okay. No no, I'm okay."

The good news: After I got over the initial shock and horror, I put him on the phone with Alex, who will help him start to collect compensation for damages incurred by the two drivers. Alex said if I ever try sending him anywhere in the future, he's not going. I'm trying to convince myself those two are just really lucky, in a very interesting way. So Happy Valentine's Day.

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