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going home/staying in/ checking her out

2005-04-01 -

I told my friends I�d meet them out tonight, but then didn�t. I never do that. I don�t want to see one person, not one tonight. I have too much thinking to do.

It was good to see my family. It was pouring the night before I left to come back and I couldn�t take much more, LA�s been raining for months. I said to NY, �not you too.� Yes me too, NY said. I tried to get a midnight flight so I wouldn�t have to suffer one more drop, as I�ve been spoiled by the sun here and overcast days are a big boom to my sunny soul these days. There were no midnight flights, the best I could do was fly two hours earlier, at 7am the next day. So fine, I did. Surprise - my cousin Ritchie was on my flight, apparently he was moving to Honolulu, with a � hour stopover in L.A. I haven�t seen him in two years, and he missed us on Easter. He moved his seat the night before the flight and I ended up getting it, then we sat together. He�s as screwy on planes as I am.

�Hey, hey, what�s this pilot guy doing? This guy likes those turns, huh?�

Also of note on our flight was a girl I graduated high school with, but she was an identical twin, so I didn�t know which one she was. I introduced her to my cousin, conveniently leaving out her name. She finally came through with it and that was that.

My cousin was trying to figure out what the reason was for us seeing each other. I told him it was to make sure he got the pep talk from me not to behave like cattle now that he was out on his own and to think for himself. He said that�s what he thought the reason was.

I was shopping the other day and I think I want to be a lesbian for a few days. It�s probably only temporary but the checkout girl impressed me. She was white but spoke like she was from the hood. Her hair was in braids and all her clothes were baggy. I didn�t think she was wearing what was on the rack. In fact she had no rack, and she was probably about 24. Love knows no bounds I say. No makeup either. If you�d ask me what kind of girl I would prefer but only for one night (or two) I would say the trashy escort type. No substance, no guilt. Anything but that, this one was.

I gleaned a few of her one liners to the customers:

Cool.

I got you.

Aaiight, I could check you out over here.

That�s tight.

I purposefully went to her line which was four people longer, just to be close. I think she was umm too busy to even look at me.

�Cash or credit?�

�Cash.�

�Cool.�

�Could you throw in some tissue paper?�

�I got you, yeah.�

�Did � this just go on sale?�

�Naw, naw it just look like it. Yo I hear you though.�

�Alright take care.�

�Yeah cool. Bye.�

What do I have to do, light a flare? She didn�t even look up. By the time I go back, I�ll be over it. I suppose my mother�s theory that we�re all inherently bisexual deep down holds some merit with me. I just didn�t know I had it in me for the boyish ones. I can�t count how many times I�ve heard stories from strictly straight males that were attracted to women that were really men, only they didn�t know it. Explain that one. Attraction just is, but we definitely do put a lot of labels on free thinking open minded individuals who stretch their mind as far as their imagination will go. Christ, you don�t have to act on it!

I got a trampoline for my bedroom, but it makes my head shake too hard when I jump, so I have to hold it. Sometimes I use it as a table to put my drinks on, works rather well.

Today was Angie�s birthday at work, and also April Fool�s Day, so we gave her a bunch of gift wrapped pieces of bread and sugar packets. When we felt we�d completely broken her spirit, we gave her the actual presents someone would actually want. Somehow my presents were a signal to my entire department of how much I�ve grown and matured since her last birthday. I showed such class and distinction in my choices, they told me. Before making any final decisions, they should meet my braided homegirl on the checkout line.

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