last five entries

host - email - older- newest - profile - notes

showstoppers.

2004-09-01 - time to quit

Georgie and I got into a very interesting discussion today about whether the majority of female strippers were abused in any way as young people. I voted yes, she opted no, most of her abused friends were never strippers, she said. We didn't get anywhere with this, but we both appreciated each other's points. And it brought us closer. The whole day was kind of like that, and (excruciatingly) painful joker Bobbie with the iron-on cat shirts asked seven times if it was time to go home yet.

"That comment is as amusing now as it will be the next time you ask about it," I never said.

If you emptied out the contents of Bobbie's house and threw Bobbie and her entire family into a big blender, you'd end up with one single hairball. Because she loves cats like no one I've ever known. In my single digit years I used to think I was cat lover number one, but as each cat lived a hexed life and died by fate's harsh hand, I grew bitter and passed the catorch on to people like Bobbie.

Bobbie is a contradiction to define, because beneath all the cat hair tufts clinging to her pink sweatshirts like a retarded angora sweater, she is an ex military woman. And yet she has such a soft gentle veneer. Although you'd never find any of that gentle veneer in her voice, and she chain smokes with (velcroed at the hip) dime - sized Yvonne outside, and they think up atrocious one liners to assault the rest of the company with. Yvonne's favorite is

"OK you guys, you look the other way, and I'll change the clock!"

They really work well off of each other. Bobbie will say

"Hey wake up, guys, it's not even nine a.m. yet!"

and then Yvonne will say

"Nine a.m.!? I could've sworn it was time to go home!"

Bobbie:

"Home! What's that?!"

Yvonne:

"A place we wish we could go to Bobbie! But I really wish for a raise!"

Bobbie:

"You're not kidding."

Yvonne:

"I wish I was!!"

Emcee: Oh God you guys. How is everyone? What's that, I can't hear you?

The Rest Of The Company: TIRED!

Emcee: Well, heck. You are all so lucky you made the trip to work today. I haven't the words to describe this twosome. Straight out of the San Fernando Valley, with just enough punch to pack your lunch, well, you know who they are. Give them a hand.

Yvonne: No, give us a raise!

Bobbie: (Grabs the mic) Military girls, best in the world!

Yvonne: Bobbie is that thing on?

Bobbie: On?! For a second I thought it was a lighter!

Yvonne: Oh give me a break Bobbie!

Bobbie: A break!? What a great idea! Hey what do you call a cat that refuses to join the army?

Yvonne: What!

Bobbie: A pussycat!

Yvonne: You ex military cat lovers are all the same, got a cigarette?

Bobbie: Does my shirt have hair?

Emcee: OK, OK, get back to work, nothing to see here. And I mean that wholeheartedly.

********************

Speaking of small animals I got a call from 'the rat' today. I have no hate for him whatsoever but I felt I should at least tell him the truth.

"So hey! What's goin' on? How was your trip?"

"It was good, thanks, how are you?"

"Good, great. So - you got to get your brother out, huh? That's great."

"Yeah, it was great."

"Good visit?"

"Oh, the best."

"Yeah, I'm still back east myself, for another week. Hey too bad we couldn't hook up and go to a meeting together or whatever."

"Yeah."

"So - across the board everything was good on the trip? The whole checklist?"

"Perfect."

"So - did your brother remember me?"

"Yeah."

"So, what did he say?"

"Yeah, I don't want to talk about it."

"Good? Bad? What, did we have a fight years ago or something?"

"No, I - you know. I don't want to get into it. It's his thing."

"Ohh, yeah. Well does he know I've changed since then?"

"No, you know him...Once he makes up his mind, no telling him anything."

"Oh, well yeah. Well cool, ok. Ok. So then maybe when I come back we can hit a meeting or something."

"Have a good trip back, ok?"

"Alright then. Bye."

I guess that was the truth.

previous - next