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Instinctively you give to me

2004-09-02 -

I spoke to Roxy when I got home tonight because I know she's having a hard time, waiting for this perpetually unavailable guy to call. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt in the meantime, and I told her just date everyone you see for now. Even if they're mentally gimpish, we'll get you out of the house.

Up until this week, she was reluctant to do anything with anyone male, but her friend Devesa wanted to set her up with one of her Jewish friends, and she figured they would be a good match. For some reason the Jewish community does J date dot com or org, and they all recycle and pass each other around, that's the idea I think. I'm sure I'm far off. In fact I think I know the only non Jew that is signed up on J date, but she can pass for Jewish, and the guys really like her, she's fun.

Like I said, Roxy was extremely choosy/stubborn until this week, which was a good sign. This new guy has the same name as the guy who hasn't been calling, which may be a painful reminder. But not as painful as

"Ohell. Devesa told me that she called the guy to set us up this week."

"Oh good, I'm really happy you're going out with anyone."

"But Devesa said he's really sensitive to negative energy."

"That's ok Roxy, this is L.A."

"No, listen. If you have any negative energy it makes him burp."

That struck me as really funny and I laughed so hard it hurt my entire body. Through the tears I asked her to please tell me that again.

"He can't handle it, if he senses negativity, he burps."

I was half hoping she was kidding, and still I was glad she wasn't.

"Can I come with you guys?"

"I'm serious Ohell, I'm already gonna have two strikes, I'm on a new pill, which is giving me weird hot flashes, and I have my period. I'm fucked."

"Is he Jewish?"

"Yes. Now how am I gonna be positive the whole time?"

"It seems to me he's the one with the issue, not you. How's his diet, do we know?"

"I don't know. All I know is he has a kid."

"Who burps who?"

We found it hard to breathe or talk after she started laughing about it, too. L.A.'s full of funsters like him, I'm sorry to say. But she still didn't wrap her head around the entire concept.

"So what do I do if he starts up? What would you do?"

"Every time he did , I'd cough or say his name."

"What if we keep seeing each other and I'm not good in bed? Is that negative energy too?"

"I would strongly suggest not going near any bed, ever."

Unfortunately, it's really late and I while I hate to drop this story on it's fragile head, I don't think it will matter in a week or two so I'll have to pardon my own choppy ending and hope we can throw in a stand in guy on the set that night in case the lead guy really can't handle her.

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