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Tony the Tiger

2004-03-06 - 7:55 a.m.

One week raw today. I don't want to speak too soon, but it's easy. I don't like to mention that in too many raw circles, because then I have to hear about everyone's detox. My boobs are going to smallsville which I'm not thrilled about, but I won't really start to worry until they get inverted. I can always use corks I'm sure. My skin is getting softer and I feel like I'm touching a new friend when I touch it.

I worked at the restaurant last night. Tony has been celibate for an actual 6 years, and I've been saying that I think he is ready to finally come out of it and go meet some girls, and last night he said a Yogi came in and did some sort of psychic reading on him which was spookily accurate and Tony gave him some coconut butter, and they really had a good talk. Lastly, he told Tony to stay away from sex. That's just not nice. And I think he's going to do it too. He's going to not do it. I couldn't say 'hey well I'm sorry Tony' because in Yogi time that might be a flash in the pants. I said 'I guess that energy could be used elsewhere then. Like towards preparing food, right?' He said he didn't mind, but I've seen the way he wrestles the girl with the dreds (dreads?) when she comes in, and I say he's ready.

I'm going out w/ one of my girlfriends today. No matter what I feel like doing, she'll go do it with me. Do you know what that's like? Let's go to Alaska and freeze. OK. Let's go to Jack in The Box and not ever eat any fucking thing there, let's just sit with the other diners and feel really lonely and empty, just to see what it feels like. OK. Let's drive to the part of the desert where I lived in isolation for a year, and cried every day, and where the billboard in town says "got teeth?" and the residents call each other Earl and McKay and One Eye and let's go look at the homeless pig I used to feed bacon to. OK! There's nothing she won't do, in other words.

In closing, I'd like to say I think the low carb diet is ridiculous.

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