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endings are the new beginnings - 2015-06-22
who cares valerian - 2014-11-10
she said / they said - 2013-12-10
hindsight is perfect - 2013-11-12
Stella - 2013-11-04

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who cares valerian

2014-11-10 - slo

I don�t love the trip down there, but I had to go back to Tijuana a few days ago to visit the holistic dental clinic. It�s really not that big of a deal to travel it once you get back home, it's only slightly past San Diego, which is only 3 hours in bad traffic, which happened the whole way. Now I think of it as a shadow sister of Los Angeles, with the same crowded streets, but with no celebrities, less money and hardly any ego. So I tell myself I�m on a bad fashion shopping trip for one day.

The only thing people seem to care about in TJ is getting to wherever they�re going, which only seems to be back and forth across the border by the thousands. Everything else is secondary to everyone. Just get across the border, wait on a three hour line of people also are just standing there, and then cross back the other way with a shopping bag of groceries or a box of something heavy.

I can�t handle dentists putting a needle in my mouth or touching me with their snappy blue rubber gloves, and the guy I had as my dentist wasn�t into me grabbing his arm after the third time he tried to kill me, so he told me he couldn�t have me messing up the process and being jumpy even one more time.

He left the room and came back in with a paper cup of valerian herbal relaxant liquid. He took the same tone you take when you tell a child you�re taking away her toy and putting her in her room to sit still. I immediately realized this was not a punishment at all! Valerian relaxes you so much that you would probably ask them for a lot more of it, even if they keep saying that they�ve decided you�ve had enough.

Everything was done pretty quickly, but before going back home, I had to sit in the waiting room for another half hour, which is where all the exceptionally interesting conversations always happen. Last time I met a couple that taught me how to make my own detox clay bath and the guy drew up some plans with some pen on a piece of paper telling me I could easily build some other device I couldn�t remember, but this time I was so relaxed, that I didn�t notice who was in the waiting room next to me because who cares, valerian. It did dawn on me though that one of the elder women in the room had zeroed in on me closely. I didn�t care about that either, I just welcomed her into my holistic hazy sphere. I figured she somehow caught me smiling back at her and ran up to me with a brochure in her hand from another holistic doctor�s office down the block.

�Hey � take this�. She shoved the brochure in my bag. It had a cartoon sun on it. I was sure I would, but still haven�t opened it yet.

�Don�t let anyone from the front desk see it, they�ll think I�m peddling this doctor.�

�You aren�t?�

She laughed and I fell asleep.

When I woke up she was still standing very close to me like she was my health rep, telling another woman in the room,

�And I�m telling you � you will be � blessed! He also does Reiki. I�m telling you � he only takes cash. For me, if it�s the right two people, you know it. You feel him out, he feels you out. He�s that kind of doctor.�

She didn't care that I was sleeping while she was probably talking to me.

There was also a shaman woman in the room that she was speaking to, who was sitting across from me in her chair in lotus pose. I wrote down what she said in case she knew something I was currently too slow to remember, which was

�I am compelled to let someone else know who may be suffering.�

She spoke it like she was being filmed.

Then the brochure peddler said

Well, here they separate your plasma. And you made my day. I can't eat, I'm mashing bananas, I can't eat. Anyway I went in there and he was there on my eighth time. I saw him, met him and we talked. And that is when I knew he was my doctor. I'm telling you, the universe. And I'm having their insight herbal tea right now, hoping it will give me some insight.�

I then wrote

Smile at yourself.


In this state I�m very much ready to see a ghost. I promise I will be ok with that.

There was also a guy, about the shaman�s age, maybe 60, sitting two people away from her. He liked the shaman, but she wasn�t assimilating his energy. This was their conversation:

�So you�re not South American then?�

�I do Kato Shaman work � and they knew there had to be a good time to come back. That time is now.�

�Well, Tibetan Monks, too � you know, the world wasn't ready for them.�

�They all originate from the same place.�


�Not odd, open!�

�They�re a peculiar people.�

�Hmm, no.�

�I guess people like us - we're just not in the mainstream.�

She didn�t answer him.

�That sun goddess mask is amazing huh?�

�Well this large crystal piece is amazing, that's why I'm sitting near it. Now, I�ll sit - (she gets up, climbs in it) inside of it.�

He still didn�t give up when she told my peddler,

�I'm in Key Largo now.�

�I like Key Largo.�

�Hmm, I'm transitioning out.�

�Climate-wise it's great. I'd like to move back.�

Then some other tiny guy out of nowhere said to him,

�So set that as your intention then.�

�Oh I already did a ceremony for it, I'm on the way.�

Even in my state of stupor I was able to roll my eyes. And I'm the biggest conspiracy theorist I know.

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