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host - email - older- newest - profile - notesIf I were president of the How To Act Club 2007-02-01 - two one Figure out what you're good at, and do that, mostly. If you find you're not good at anything, you will have the option to move to a country where it isn't as important to excel at anything, for the most part. If you decide to stay here but don't mind being an underachiever, please sign the 'nothing to do' list, and we'll assign you something meaningful to study like Conspiracy Theorists we enjoy. Sports are fine, but not as a substitute for living. Anyone caught yelling at the t.v. will have it taken away, and it will be replaced with a white and mellow Collier puppy until further notice from myself or my staff.
A note to the elderly: We encourage stories of the war, your youth, what's wrong with our youth, your travels, widowhood and your diet. Unfortunately for you, as it turns out, we absolutely had a unanimous/no appeals vote against your views on eroticism. Remember this will be the first time there is to be any governing body setting parameters for anything relating to ethics, codes of conduct, behavior or anything larger than a traffic infraction. The rules you thought you were following were those of a doppelganging imposter pretending to secure order. Really they were just changing the rules a lot while you paid tickets and filled out paperwork. So you are always welcome to follow our very clear and fair rules within the How To Act Club. Babies and children young enough not to talk back yet may not be cursed at in department stores or even in convenience stores. Anyone caught breaking this rule will have to watch the video "Misplaced Aggression's Devastating Effects on the Human Body" once daily, alternating weekly with "Verbal Lobotomy: Never Speak That Way to A Little One Again". While myself and my staff are certainly not looking to incarcerate anyone anytime soon, as we do believe in freedom of thought, speech and action as it pertains to living in harmony with the other members of the community, we have no problem detaining those within the How To Act Club for a definite or indefinite period of time depending on the infraction. Our two golden rules are 'Give the people what they want' and 'Give the people enough rope to hang themselves'. -HTAC previous - next |