last five entries

host - email - older- newest - profile - notes

disasterheads

2005-01-10 - out of time, apparently

No one was at work today except me. And a few other ass kisses who couldn�t stop talking about the idea that we were the only ones there. We have heavy rain, and some of us can�t leave the house because LA is having mudslides and people are slipping off cliffs and dying. No one in my dept. was there, so I did as much work as I could with Samm, although everyone I knew in the outside world had what they thought was urgent stuff to talk to me about. Insult to injury, I think is the phrase we use when we tell people it�s not a good time to talk, and they keep talking.

Big Jim called. I mentioned yeah, it�s not a good time. He must have thought I said keep talking, you�re fascinating.

�How about that fucking rain you guys are having? I�m watching it on tv, nine people died.�

�Yeah I know, and I have to go.�

�Ohell, it�s like the end times, like they talk about. LA�s going into the ocean, I�m buying land in Arizona. Everything is falling into place according to plan just like it says.�

�According to what plan? That�s screwed up Jim, you know I live here. Thanks. Look, I have to go. Hold on okay? Hello?�

�It�s Samm. What�s the tax code and color for West Hollywood?�

�8.25 green.�

�Thanks. I won�t bother you again.�

�Don�t worry, it�s cool. Hello Jim?�

�You know the story of Pandora�s box?�

�No. Yes. What Jim.�

�You know what was left in the box?�

�Why are we doing riddles? Can you hold on. Hello?�

�Sorry, it�s Samm. What do we do with a split card?�

�Just split it.�

�Thanks, this is my last call!�

Ha, no problem bye. Jim? Hold on.�

�Yeah, okay and do you remember the one thing that was left in Pandora�s box, and no-�

� - Hold on. Hello?�

�Hey this is Roxy. Listen to this.�

�Hey, I really have a lot of shit going on here, call me later.�

�Okay. By the way, I had the weirdest dream about you.�

�Call me later. Okay? Bye. Jim? �

�Hope.�

�Hope what.�

�Hope was what was left in the box.�

�Jim, I don�t have time to figure out what the hell you�re saying. I�ll talk to you later.�

�Just think about it Hellie, it makes sense.�

This is what the whole day was like. Then Jill showed up in a raincoat, which is now three sizes too big for her little sad self. She lost eighteen pounds and hasn�t worn anything but black since the funeral.

�Jill, everything okay?�

�Why is Samm riding my ass? Why is everyone upset that no one showed up for work today? It�s not like anyone LOST THEIR HUSBAND OR ANYTHING!�

No, she didn�t just say that. Yes, she did. Really, I don�t care to hear another siren outside. Yes I�m donating with the rest of the company, but no, I didn�t watch the Tsunami footage, because I don�t ever hook up my television except to watch dvds. I don�t know what the fuck Pandora�s box has to do with the California flash flood watch. No, I�m not sure what else Nostradamus predicted. No, you�re right, today I don�t care if we watch LA fall into the ocean. Or if the government is really manipulating the weather with their sonar equipment. Just glad to be here with all these uplifting people, really.

previous - next