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host - email - older- newest - profile - notesyou know it's time to move on when 2004-11-22 - There�s talk at my job of a theme Christmas party this year. I was lucky enough to be standing by the front door when one of the IT employees walked past the owner and myself, with a plastic punch clown doll the size of a moped. The owner of the company was telling me how his dog was going in tonight for surgery on his privates (they were until now). Little guy has a tumor. I gave a few words of encouragement, but it only reminded me of when my little L.B. got his belly run over by a van when he was a puppy. I told the vet he absolutely had to save him, my Mother had died a month earlier and I didn�t think him dying was an option as well. The guy worked on him for four hours and he lived. Until the other thing that killed him a couple of years later. So the other tip off to the Christmas party was four makeshift glass vases on the IT guy�s desk; he was bouncing a ball into them. �You having a good time Jed?� �This is for the shhhh.� �For the what?� �For the Christmas party, shhh.� I thought and thought who I could tell that would care. Then I wondered who would care enough to not keep it a secret. Nope, no one. �Ohh. We�re gonna play games?� �Yeah, it�s gonna be Carnival Christmas theme, shhh.� �Isn�t Christmas its own theme?� �Yeah, but - this is � Carnival Christmas.� I haven�t quite figured out why, but something about this carnival thing makes me want to fight. I plan to silently but sleuth(fully) discourage this idea. I see these clowns working around me for the bulk of the year, I�d rather not play carnie games with them too. Other things I�d prefer not to do with them: Have sleepovers of any kind. Go on a field trip together. Touch them in any way aside from a quick holiday hug. (as we�re leaving the party) See them in public, in other words, �off the set� Watch them sing karaoke Die around them
Dear Grandma, Remember when I was five and you said, what kind of ice cream do you want, I promise I�ll get it for you, and I said Vanilla but you confused me with Rory and gave me Pistachio, which I hate, and he ate all the Vanilla? Well I never liked Pistachio, and so I didn�t eat it, but he sure did. I want you to know that it was pretty much all your fault. I would like a rain check on that promise you made to me. I would also like a new Grandmother,
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