last five entries

host - email - older- newest - profile - notes

People I Don't Appreciate Right Now

2009-02-04 - 9:35 p.m.

The traffic enforcement brownie badge who gave me a street cleaning parking ticket on a holiday when there were no street cleaners. Merry Martin Luther King Day to you too, honky.

The artist who must have forgotten to sign the beautiful piece of artwork I have on my wall. Her similar signed pieces go for $15-30,000. Her unsigned pieces go for charity. It's for sale, by the way.

The guy in the wheelchair down the street who rolls up in front of our place and just sits there scraping at the door with a long branch till the dogs throw up their lungs from barking; I think his family needs to give him a different hobby, like neighborhood watch, or creepy door scraper who relocates somewhere else.

Miss Darvis, the bill collector who's been calling me weekly for the last 6 months to settle an outstanding bill in the sum of $24. Like why don't you pay it yourself and save us both the heartache? There are real criminals who owe at least twice that amount.

Our other neighbor (I believe he's retarded) who corners me a few times a month to tell me made up (on the spot) Sarah Palin jokes. They're never funny, and I usually tell him that, because not laughing doesn't seem as effective.

The woman I run into every week who only ever says one thing to me. "Hey! How's married life?" Now I just tell her that I don't know and she should ask me again next week. I believe she also might be retarded.

It's a very short list, but I'm hoping that writing about it will somehow activate the necessary function that will blow them all up.

previous - next