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Blue Heaven, couple of sides of grease

2006-03-29 - 10:01 p.m.

When I was in Junior High we had a prom. Since my mother was not hip on spending lots of time looking for dresses, I decided to wear a gown I had from what must have been the 50�s. It was long and layered and powder blue, which I hated, and went down past the floor. Kids were just starting to wear black then, but even if we had shopped for a dress, my mother wouldn�t let me wear black. I figured she knew something I didn�t, but I still didn�t appreciate it.

Anyway, she wasn�t hip on hair products either. I wasn�t keen on someone putting flowers or curls in my hair, and I thought handbags were for girlie girls, so I did my own hair. Luckily, we always had a steady supply of Vaseline, which I figured would be as good as any gel. It turns out I hated gel too. I just didn�t get how everyone in my class could be needing it at precisely the same time. Even puberty took turns with us, for God�s sake. So I took my slicked on the sides bi-level hair and blue dust gown and went off to the prom.

It was a bust. I felt no magic, even though I�m sure that was the idea. The theme was �Heaven�, which was a lot like the Heaven they talked about at the church we were forced to go to weekly, very stale and leaving a lot to be desired, and so much to be lusted after. But I ate their dip, and I spoke to the gel heads. I b.s.�d a little with the kids no one liked, especially the most unattractive. One of the girls who was also the most made fun of in school, (pissed in her polyester, never lived it down) had done something drastic to herself when no one was paying attention (as usual) and she wasn�t wearing her glasses tonight. I saw her in the bathroom drying her face under the hand dryer, and she smiled. I had to yell over the dryer.

�Kristine? Something looks different, Miss.�
�I know!�
Then she giggled. And did a 180. She turned around slowly, like a model. Our very own private bathroom model. She was doing moves I knew no one in that class would ever see again. But she was beaming like Carrie before her prom. She still had a lisp, but I let it go.

� I lost weight, and I don�t wear glasses anymore!�
�And you also have blue eye shadow that I�ve never seen!�

Then she batted her eyes at me. I knew she wasn�t gay, but just probably practicing. I would�ve stayed in the bathroom with her and her giggly gorky friend who always wore a suspiciously similar blue eye shadow every other day that wasn�t the prom, but I was starting to settle into my coincidentally similar colored dress, and wanted to flash it around a little, see?

�You�re beautiful Kristine. Did you come with someone?�

�No.�

Okay, well you still look good. Keep it up. Ellen, I like� your shadow.� (no pun was intended)

�I did Kristine�s makeup!�

"Really?"

I checked my hair in the mirror. Who had the best sides slicked to her head? Sleek. I went back out there.

I still didn�t love the idea of a prom, but I danced, and eventually my endorphins got the better of me. But I loved the idea of a prom! I�m sure I was glowing. I didn�t actually dance with any boys, they still scared me a little. But then Dave Winopsky came up and asked me to dance. He looked like little Nicholas from Eight Is Enough.

And hell yes, I would like to dance. It turns out it was almost the last song. It was our class prom theme song. It was �Heaven�, by Bryan Adams. I hated that song. I thought it was so stuffed animal. People worked on the prom committee for this?

I never knew David liked me! He ignored me the other four years I knew him. It turns out he was one of the more sought after cute guys in school, but then word must have gotten out that he liked to read, and even joined the school book club, where the kids acted out the stories on video, and the rest of the class watched it during English class. I could never figure out where I was when they divvied out these video acting book club jobs, I just never heard of them until there we were, watching David and some other bookians playing kidnapped children in a big van.(van = row of school chairs in the gymnasium). Then the guys in my class decided they didn�t like him anymore, and started referring to him as Winnie. Eventually the rest of the class excommunicated him. I wasn�t swayed because I had a book deal with the local librarian near my house: You don�t tell my mother, and I�ll keep coming back to check out more pornographic books. I liked Winnie.

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in Heaven

I was finding it hard to believe I was dancing with David at the prom. I didn�t actually mind the song, I just thought it was queer. David didn�t seem to notice that my Vaseline was melting onto my powdered gown. Or that it was all over my face. I didn't really feel him inhale, but I thought I felt him exhale a lot. He didn�t say a word the whole song, but I knew that no matter what, he knew I was one of the good ones. And that no matter how ostracized he became this year by the entire class, I would never be part of it. Either that or he overheard me talking to Kristine in the bathroom. Either way, it was a totally unconditional moment in time.

Oh once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feeling down
Yeah nothing can change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say but just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way, baby you�re -

I almost started singing, but then I looked up and saw a very familiar face. It was my Dad. Jesus! He was milling around with two other Dads, keeping an eye on things! I went over to him and told him he was essentially busted. I didn�t even thank David. I couldn�t, I was too overwhelmed, and had a lot of processing to do.

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