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Things I fou...

2005-11-21 - 7:35 p.m.

Things I found out last Friday and since last Friday:

My little brother has a baby, and they live not far away from me. The porn star is the Mom, and I guess they're working it out. I thought they were finished, and so did his real girlfriend. He calls her Birdie, which is very appropriate, since she will be forced to leave the nest and eat worms for awhile. He is still lifestyling in ways I can't even mention here. I am very sad for the baby, and also half glad I haven't met him yet, or I'd have to be sad a lot more.

People can cash other people's checks at the bank. Which one of my employees did, plus his own. It was sent to him by accident. He didn't know, I tried to tell the rest of my doubting coworkers, who will have plenty of material to use against me for the next month.

That cheap white ant chalk, the one that was outlawed years ago, because it was poisionous to your skin, the one you can make a white line on the wall with, and ants within a half millimeter will drop dead, the one I have saved on my windowsill for years for when the ringleader shows up - doesn't work.

That any crazy woman wandering purposefully toward your car like a ghoul when it's dark will be beaten up slightly within seconds by a man in a ponytail who appears out of nowhere and then disappears behind a fence again within a few more seconds.

Talking angry to angry people doesn't work.

the end.

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