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stay/ brother/sugar
2005-03-01 -
Well it appears as though I�m not leaving my job after all. I had one foot out the door, I really did, when the owner called me at home and we talked and I can say he gave me some stuff to think about, and I am now happy to be back. Sometimes you have to go away to come home. There are all sorts of speculations as to why I would stay, when clearly the Malibu job had better offers in many ways. I would say to those cunning interrogators at my place of employment, nice job. But there�s nothing to tell, you sneaky sleuths. �Oh, glad you decided to stay, I�m sure he offered you a lot of $$, a few more bucks�.Right? He did, right?� �Your silence is telling, Ohell. It�s very telling.� (Which, naturally, was met with more silence. Ohell ain�t your entertainment!)
�We don�t think it�s fair that he likes you better than he likes us. But we�re glad you�ve decided to stay. Even if you don�t tell us what really happened. It�s fine. � �Your attitude has completely changed since �the talk� you had with him. Whatever it was, you seem a lot more professional now.� And on and on and you get the photo. ********************************* This is a message one of my (younger) friends back east left for me last night: You don�t spend much time at home, do ya? It is snowing like a motherfucker right now out here, so you know what that means? That means I�m taking the QUAD out RIDING with Salvatore. And we�re gonna rip the streets up in the snow tonight. I�ll be on my cell, it�ll be in my backpack � with a change of clothes � I�m gonna go get wet and snowy. See that�s what I love about New York. It might be cold, but you can�t rip around the streets of California in the snow, that�s for sure. In any case, talk to you soon. Well Chuck, thanks for the reminder, you little bastard. My little brother called from jail. He filled me in on some new stuff he�s learning. Sitting on a black man�s bunk when you�re white = 125 pushups.
If you don�t know who his friends are, don�t laugh at him yet.
If you�re suddenly outnumbered in the shower four to one, apologize to the leader.
Peanut butter and jelly is for breakfast..
High school wrestling moves are for life.
Did I mention I�ve been supplementing my raw diet with sugar snacks? I don�t know how it started, but I�ll guess it started with me. I don�t like it, it�s like going off of drugs for a year and then taking some. Just today I�ve noticed my phone feels heavier. Overall, I�d like to cut it out, but I think I need help. If anyone has any suggestions, drop me a line. I�ll take any advice offered. I�m totally serious, you don�t know how I run. I run heavy in this game of sugar. HEA- vy. It�s like why eat a salad, you fucking hypocrite.
I found a sugar addict test, and I took that too. 1. Have you ever said, "Starting Monday, no chocolate!"
o True
o False
ONLY FOR OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE CHOCOLATE PROBLEMS
2.Have you ever realized that you used to get one Butterfinger candy bar, but now you buy three at a time?
o True
o False
o I HATE BUTTERFINGER; IN FACT, I HATE BART SIMPSON
3. Have you ever been frantic when you arrive at a friend's house for the weekend to discover they have no sweets in the house -- and you do not have a car?
o True
o False
o YOU CAN�T FOOL ME ON THAT ONE; I�D MUCH RATHER HAVE A CAR . I�M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION.
4. Have you ever kept a stash of chocolate in your closet, and been horrified when someone found it?
o True
o False
o NOBODY COULD EVER FIND MY STASH. UNLESS THEY HAVE A BELLY X RAY MACHINE.
5. Have you ever driven completely out of your way to get candy?
o True
o False
o DAMN RIGHT YOU BETTER GET OUT OF MY WAY
6. Have you ever chosen a restaurant based on the quality of their desserts even though it is an hour's drive away?
o True
o False
WERE YOU WATCHING ME AN HOUR AGO? HA HA
7. Have you ever crawled through the morning with a headache and crankiness that is immediately relieved when you have something sweet?
o True
o False
o THAT�S JUST PART OF LIVING IN THE WILD CRAZY JUNGLE, BABE
8. Have you ever told yourself you were going to have just a bite of ice-cream and ended up eating the whole quart all by yourself?
o True
o False
o I ALWAYS PLAN ON EATING THE WHOLE THING. ONLY BABIES AND BUGS BITE. AND ALSO SOME BIRDS WITH SHARP BEAKS.
9. Have you ever made a cover noise to hide the sound of crinkling candy wrappers?
o True
o False
o AT MY JOB, YOU DON�T HAVE TO. ANY SOUND YOU MAKE IS COVERED BY YELLING COWORKERS. BUT IF I WERE TO MAKE A COVER NOISE, I�D DO �BEEP BEEP�, I THINK. 10. Would you be horrified to have your friends know how you answered these questions?
o True
o False
o THEY�D BE MORE HORRIFIED TO HEAR MY DRINKING HISTORY.
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