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beyond the abyss; late day interview with Georgie

2004-09-17 - 9:11 p.m.

Georgie has been telling me she would like to die for quite a while now. I do believe her, but I also know that she has quite another side to her one very dark self. It's the side that people get to see if they're lucky, a few times a day. Generous, kind, loving, funny. All the attributes of a girl scout. Her other self, and she agrees, is evil and calculating and even humorous, when it hasn't gone out of control and bit someone. I think she means it when she tells me that she would take our company hostage, but wouldn't harm me. "Ohell you just tell them you knew I was crazy."I also think there are very few people that could pull off a hostage stunt, and she is one of them. Because she's angry enough.

Since I had asked if Anton wanted to be interviewed the other day, and he said yes, Georgie asked me why I never interviewed her. Because I had never interviewed anyone. Today was my second.

OHELL - Where do you see yourself in a year?

GEORGIE - Right here or in between worlds.

OHELL - Why do you want to die?

GEORGIE - Everyone else is so selfish and I'm not. I feel like why should I struggle and deal with all this b.s. Where's the payoff? Because I feel like pretty much in the end all we do is go through the same motions every day and nothing really changes. So why suffer if I don't have to? I guess that there is the jist of it.

OHELL - Do you have a plan?

GEORGIE - I have two plans.

OHELL - Why .

GEORGIE - You mean the cutting and the pills? Why? To have options. To not get trapped if one doesn't work . In the end. At least if you're like "this is the only thing," you still have another option.

And then our supe cut in from the other room.

"If my husband dies, he said I'll get $1200 a month."

At the time, I had no reference for a statement that healthy .

OHELL - You're not going anywhere Georgie. And what about Noel?

GEORGIE - He gets to have serenity. Peace and happiness. I'm finally out of his hands.

OHELL - What about your (recently turned over from the state) little sister?

GEORGIE - I'm saving myself from her. She's gonna try to run earth her way. She's like that Sonic Hedgehog video game character.

OHELL - Your Mom.

GEORGIE - That's not even....whatever, no comment on that one.

OHELL - What about this dept?

GEORGIE - Life goes on. "We once knew a girl..."

OHELL - You want a theme song?

GEORGIE - Probably. Let's see. The Freshman. ((A few months ago, Georgie wanted me to challenge her with something mentally. She didn't care what it was. I told her to figure out what the lyrics to The Freshman were about. She kind of did, but we were stuck on a few lines))

That would be the one. Because I fell in love in the first place. Maybe not with drugs but with everyone and everything I've ever loved. So this is my fifteen minutes of fame.

OHELL - And a hell of a place to put it.

GEORGIE - Yeah, that's sad.

OHELL - What about (our coworker that you always fight with) Bob?

GEORGIE - I would jump on him and stab him, at some point. I'll end up stalking some people as a hobby but mostly to free my loved ones.

OHELL - What about (your newly pregnant friend that just lost her friend and then her cousin to suicide in the past few months) Gerry?

GEORGIE - She'll just add me to her list. I'll be reincarnated as her baby. The torture.

OHELL - Oh, no.

GEORGIE - What do you mean, oh no?

OHELL - Anyway, who would you like to haunt?

GEORGIE - Oh! Any woman that attempts to come near my Poppa. (husband). I would haunt the VP and his secretary. I would haunt (head of the warehouse) Nasir just for fun. I have all of eternity. I'll find my cat Furball and send her back. I'll haunt my aunt so she'll die of a heart attack. I don't know, I'd guide a lot of people too. I have a lot of love. My husband gets to mourn me and move on. His thing is "if it hurts, let me close it off." My sister, I'd guide her and then haunt her. Scare her straight. I would scare my Mom to death but then she'd come over to my side. I'd haunt and kill all those who kill.

OHELL - Eye for an eye.

GEORGIE - Two eyes for one eye. You know me I'm harsh with the law. I'll be an officer of the underworld. (pause) Black is my favorite color. And as far as you and me, Stuart (Mad TV) is our favorite character. We'll always have that. (pause) In the other world, there's so much to do, that pain and suffering is all prolonged. We have eternity. The pain is not intensified but definately prolonged. I'm just dead black weight.

OHELL - No you're not .

GEORGIE - I'm a hindrance to the growth of my family members.

OHELL - Look at the (really nice apology ) letter your sister wrote you today.

GEORGIE - What letter. I hate positive reinforcement. I never got any!

OHELL - But you give it. Your sister loves you.

GEORGIE - This is the bravest thing that I can do to help myself. Those toys that grow in water, they expand. I've expanded to my fullest. I'm the kind of crazy a lot of people can't relate to. I want to be burned. Cremated.

OHELL - Cremated.

GEORGIE - My body is done anyway. The skinny part. Can you imagine my service? People I don't want there.

OHELL - You should be thankful anyone is there.

GEORGIE - I'd be so controlling about it, I don't want them there. Burn me and forget it. Read off a poem. Give me my glory.

OHELL - Who's writing you a poem?

GEORGIE - Anyone who'd like to, that's cool. My biggest physical struggle - my weight. My biggest emotional struggle - my heart. My biggest mental struggle is control. My biggest regret is no baby. I wanted a baby.

OHELL - George, you gotta have a baby.

GEORGIE - To pass on my evil energy to?

And then our supe walked in from the other room.

"This woman on the phone was making fun of my kid for still being on a pacifier! Fuck her!"

GEORGIE - God forbid, my kid.

OHELL - Anything else you want to say then?

GEORGIE - I'll still have a birthday every year. It'll always be Georgie's birthday on March 10th.

OHELL - Very funny. It's time to go.

GEORGIE - I left a note. Actually two notes. They're in my top left drawer.

OHELL - Notes to who?

GEORGIE - To whoever. I may not come in Monday.

OHELL - That's not funny.

Our supe was standing with the door open and laughing with her by the time clock, and she told her very funny with the note in the drawer idea , we'll see you Monday. I knew she was half joking.

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