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somewhere, in a past life, I manifested this?

2004-06-07 - click to change

The least substantial and yet the only dialogue I had all day, at the juicer bar.

Man, roughly 56, but could've been 60 or 46. Looked Greek/Fatalian/kind of like John Lovitt but darker, bigger, and more facial hair. Had white paper wrapper from a straw stuck to his lip. I forgot his name, so I'll call him

PAPER(C)LIP - What you ordering.

ME - A juice. Aren't we all in this spot?

PAPER(C)LIP - What juice.

ME - Celery parsely apple. Spinach. Cucumber.

PAPER(C)LIP - I like to hef the juice. I like to hef...kale beet. Do you guys hef beet in there? (knocks the machine with his gold pinky ring) Do you hef?

GIRL - Sir, please don't hit the machine. Someone already caused the machine to malfunction recently.

ME - Oops.

PAPER(C)LIP - Was you?

ME - Yeah. I asked them to add a potato, and it fucked up the machine a few days ago.

PAPER(C)LIP - What? Potato. Hef no juice!

ME - It was suggested to me.

PAPER(C)LIP - Who would say eat juicy potato?

ME - I'm on an herbal cleanse. You need potassium and sodium, but you can't have salt. So you have to get it in other ways, for the time being.

PAPER(C)LIP - Do you eat meat?

ME - No.

PAPER(C)LIP - Did you ever hef?

ME - Yes.

PAPER(C)LIP - Would you date man that hef meat?

ME - Not today.

PAPER(C)LIP - How old are you?

ME - Why?

PAPER(C)LIP - Yes, I can't tell by in the face skin, but I can tell in the face expression. People don't date me because they think because I'm fet.

ME - You're not, really.

PAPER(C)LIP - Yes I am.

ME - Is mine almost ready?

GIRL - Two more ahead of you.

ME - Can I pay you an extra dollar to upgrade my spot to next?

GIRL - I'll put you next.

PAPER(C)LIP - My yoga teacher was raw food. She said she won't date me. Because I smell like meat. She can tell. Are you in the market for to date?

ME - No.

PAPER(C)LIP - Do you ever hef raw meat?

ME - No.

PAPER(C)LIP - OK, be healthy and safe and stay raw, ok? And try if you might like raw meat, ok?

ME - Take care.

GIRL - (smiling) So you screwed up our machine?

ME - The potato.

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