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complicated recipes breed simple solutions

2004-05-23 -

The first thing the host did at this party today was offer me a huge plate of chocolate pot brownie cookies. I was not thinking they looked too bad, and I quickly turned around and went to the restroom to avoid those little cocoa beasts. I washed my hands a few times and was grateful that I started an herbal cleanse yesterday, so I can't freaking eat much anyway. The bathroom door opens and a woman said oops, sorry! I told her don't worry about it, no problem. She must've thought I said come on in pull your pants down and go to the bathroom in front of me, because that was definately what she did.

I didn't want to leave because I wanted to see if her booty looked similar to mine. It did not. I didn't know what to say, so I said

"I have my period."

She told me that her Yogi instructor said that if you're on your cycle that you should stay home near your fortress during that time till it's over, or wear a lot of clothes because otherwise men pick up on your hormones and come on to you. A lot to say for a pissing girl.

Again I was speechless. So this time I saluted her and left the bathroom.

We did end up at the beach and it was really beautiful out, and a really nice girl next to me that was dating one of the pot cookie guys kept talking to me but I couldn't understand her Asian accent. Or maybe I wasn't trying hard enough. I said "yeah, that makes sense," to everything she said.

I learned that I don't like talking to people that are high if I'm not. One of the high guys said he thought it would be great if everyone just talked to everyone no matter what. Perfect strangers would simply become people you invited into your home. Even people with guns with which to shoot you? He said yes, even them, because in this perfect world he envisioned, there would be no one looking to harm anyone. I already bet myself that when he comes down from the choco la la he's on, he won't be saying that. It reminded me of when I was in high school and I was tripping on acid with one of my friends, and we had the idea to end third world hunger by sending out no less than one hundred helicopters at a time with a pizza under each helicopter. While the hungry folks were just sitting around in the field like we were sure they were doing, pizza boxes would be spiraled down to help them eat again. We knew we found the answer for sure. Then we went back to throwing handfuls of colored air at her bedroom wall.

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