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The Whittler

2004-04-27 - 7:01 p.m.

If you've already progressed from crawling to walking, don't start crawling again is all I want to say. To myself today.

There's a guy who moved in next door, one of Tim's friends from Vermont. I don't know his name, so I call him The Whittler. Tim, = my old roommate who stole two cats from me, Emily and an alley cat I never named, much less touched, only fed. Anyway, I met The Whittler a few weeks ago when he moved in and he told me he always has to give Emily a kiss on the top of the head, or he doesn't feel complete. I told him that's not completion, he has OCD. He denied it, but I know. Emily certainly knows it. Even though she runs away from him while he tells me how close they are. I'm not impressed, she doesn't run away from me. Today she was crying (for me) and I went outside to feed her, and the new guy was out on his patio sculpting or whittling a wood piece, and he said,

"Hey umm...I don't think she's hungry."

So I said,

"Oh, did you ask her?"

"No, but I fed her a tiny bit of canned food before."

"I think her new Dad and caretaker named Tim would object to that, he only gives her dry food." (as I ironically and intentionally scooped out a can of not dry food for her)

"I think she's upset, too."

"Why?"

"I stepped on her foot by accident before."

"Before what, you kissed her on the top of her head compulsively?"

He laughed, as I let Emily lick the spoon I would never use again. I also casually mentioned to him that on the way home just now I was listening to this country song called "Me & Emily" which always makes me think of me and Emily, oddly enough. In the song, it's a mother and daughter, and they're fleeing a guy I think, who used to beat her, and the mother is looking for someone to love them, and they're staying in a motel or something, I don't really know the words. I don't relate except for the title, but I always picture me and Emily fleeing if we had to. Not that she would ever get in my fucking car. I'm sure I can find the goddamned lyrics if I look. ***************************

Rachel Proctor - Me And Emily Lyrics

Floorboard is filled with baby toys

and empty coke bottles and coffee cups

Driving through the rain with no radio

trying not to wake her up

Cell phone says low battery

God what if I break down

I'm just looking for an exit with a lot of lights

in a safe little interstate town

Just a cheap hotel

with a single bed

and cable TV

is good enough for me and Emily

Someday when she's old enough

she's gonna start asking questions about him

some kid at school brings his dad for show and tell

and he gets her little mind wondering

Where's my daddy, do I have one

does he not love me like you do

Maybe I'll find someone to love the both of us

and I'll tell her when she's old enough to know the truth

Will it break her heart

will she understand

that I had to leave

that's what was best for me and Emily

The house was never clean enough

his dinner never warm enough

Nothing I did was ever good enough to make him happy

So I guess he gave me what he thought I deserved

but it would kill me if he ever raised his hand to her

Bigrigs are throwing rain on my windshield

And I feel like they're laughing at me

Finally the storm is letting up

and the morning is breaking free

It's a brand new day

It's a second chance

yesterday is just a memory

For me and Emily

Floorboard is filled with baby toys

and empty coke bottles and coffee cups

Least there's one good thing that he gave me

and she's starting to wake up*****************************************************************************

Found it. I really don't think The Whittler wants to step on Emily's foot again. Another story without a point. Sorry.

Some things I thought were amusing the other day:

A baby that couldn't really talk yet was pointing to some olives and saying Oll-leh. Oll-leh. I think that is absolutely the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

The other day I saw a homeless guy "sleeping" on a bench, but he was on one of those billboard benches, with advertising, and the ad on the bench was for Lucky brand jeans. And the guy was covered in dirt and very shoeless, but he was sprawled out in a sexy pose that really made Lucky look bad, ha.

Just when a girl at my workplace was finished getting worked up, and telling everyone off, she ended with a really great sentence, like "And he doesn't want to ever fuck with me again. EVER."

And then as she stomped out, her sweater got caught on the doorknob and it turned out she didn't get the exit she was looking for. So I helped her on the finale with another "EVER!"

It was hot today and hot is what I like, and humid is even better, which it was, and even though everyone around me is complaining, and slow, and wants dry weather, this is when I come alive. Now I believe I know how vampires feel.

And finally, I am happy to report that my elbows as well as the rest of me are much softer, and aren't dry anymore. So no more lotion on my elbows, thank you raw food.

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