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Mike Cummings. IF that's your name.

2004-03-29 - 7:16 p.m.

Some guy fraudulated my bank card and was using it, like they do. His name or stage name, is on it, but with my numbers. The bank said they'll issue the money back to me tomorrow, but I'm not as much interested in that so much as finding the little chap. I really think if I put my mind to it, I can find him, seeing how every place he went had a surveillance camera. This is what I will do when I find him:

a) call him and tell him he left some cash at the restaurant the other night by accident.

b)I will meet him (not alone though) at the restaurant and give him "the $8.00 that he dropped by accident". Since he's stunned, I'll tell him I'm the one who's card he fenagled, and the person I brought with me is an undercover cop and a close friend. I will press charges unless he goes with us to the diner down the block.

He'll go, of course, and he'll have to listen to me the whole time. Since I know what he eats (it says on the card thanks) I'll order for him, but warn him that he's fucking up his stomach, essentially.

I'll tell the story of my first period, and how it affected me. How it affects me still today. How it affects everyone I know. He'll hear about the first time a kitten I loved died, when it fell off the fence and broke its neck. My friend has a very troubling "eyes without a face" story he always likes to tell, (and gross pictures), of a girl he knew who was beautiful inside and out, and then had an accident when she was struck by a drunk driver (who was probably also a credit card thief) and was left, finally, with only inner beauty. Every day she wants to die. And she works!

After that I'll tell him about my recent breakup and how I feel about that. He can give feedback on all the stories we tell, and he will have a chance to share his ideas and feelings when we finish sharing ours. Of course he must love somebody too.

Finally, he will have the opportunity to share his own life with us. We'll have questions about his Mother, his Father, his upbringing, his criminal record, why he sought out a life of crime and not a life of love and service. What his goals are. If he has kids. How he expects to enter heaven someday if this shit keeps up?

Since this has always been our relationship, I'll pay the bill. He's probably bumming that I blocked the card, and I feel it's the least I can do. He can pay the tip, with the $8.00 he tried to keep. There has to be some semblance of karma in the world. We'll thank him for a good time, and give him a huge bear hug, because my childhood friend who had a hick family from Maine had a Dad that was huge and gave bear hugs that were warm and comforting, (and painful) so we'll give our new friend a bear/bye hug. As he turns around to thank us, I'll shush him, and hand him a Debtor's Anonymous directory so that he can find his way when he's ready. Everyone will sleep well.

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