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a short piece on Groups

2011-01-08 -

I asked my husband the other day why he thought people in corporate environments evolved into wearing suits. He replied something like �so that people become less humanized in the workplace.� Good answer, I thought - although it doesn�t stop there. In every group, there are characteristics that set them apart from other groups. Many corporate employees wear suits and walk briskly through building lobbies yapping on their cell phones about project deadlines of inflated importance. Clowns wear clown suits. Why? Because that�s how you know they�re clowns. You used to be able to tell a punk by their brightly colored Mohawk. Now a purple Mohawk is kind of cute, because it�s sad and evolved into more of a sign of conformity rather than rebellion. Skinheads for some reason like to wear suspenders and high white socks with flooded jeans. Why? It�s a universal reminder that they�re angry. One of their mothers must have said she didn�t like that look.

Hippies use patchouli, which I was told includes cat urine as an ingredient. I was always troubled by groups and their implications to my ego, but I kind of joined up with the stoners in my childhood, because they didn�t seem to hurt anyone, and you could party as much as you wanted to. Also, if you got into any kind of trouble, you could simply gaze off into the distance and no one would expect or demand that you come back to earth and explain yourself.

I remember being at a hippie party in Tucson and the guests were putting Braggs amino drops in the popcorn. I didn�t know why, but the implication was that it was a tradition intended to be carried on, probably passed down from some Master Hippie years ago who took too much acid and wanted more flair in their popcorn. Everyone seemed to love Braggs amino acid in their popcorn. If I had asked, the conversation might have gone like this:

�Why are we putting amino drops in our popcorn again?�

�Because we�re hippies.�

I had a really hard time being typecast into any particular group in my teens. I remember having to speak to my therapist about it.

�So what�s the issue with trying on different identities, Ohell?�

�It just seems so contrived. Like, I would really love to shave my head.�

�So then why don�t you?�

�Because then I�m a punk. That�s a label.�

�But Ohell, that�s normal! That�s what kids do.�

�Well there�s nothing more uncomfortable to me then watching a kid morph into one identity after another. I�m just hyper-aware of it. Although I would also like to bleach my hair after I get a crew cut.�

�So why couldn�t you do that?�

�Because then it�s obvious I�m going through an identity change like everyone else in high school. And it makes me uncomfortable. All these kids at once trying on different identities, and I would really like to�I just can�t bring myself to do it at this time. It�s too much.�

�So what are you going to do?�

A week later I gave my best friend a crew cut and bleached her hair. It was the best I could come up with.

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