last five entries

host - email - older- newest - profile - notes

water oz

2007-02-26 -

We visited the Navajo courthouse in AZ a couple of days ago to do a presentation because of the high number of addicted individuals they have living there on the reservation. Since none of us were used to presenting for that group, (and some of us not for any group), the Prosecutor gave me a huge heads up on their customs and beliefs beforehand. He let me know that it was always a good idea to mention your heritage on both of your parents' side when addressing a group or individual, but that it was taboo to mention death when speaking to most of them, which I didn't really understand right away. I have always been fascinated and yet very haunted by the notion of my own, so much so that I confided in someone very close to me recently about how it consumes me sometimes, and I can't get the idea out of my head. He is very intuitive, and picks up on things that many people don't, and so it was a good move to tell him about this, because he isn't judgmental. And now everyone knows, so enjoy.

You can call it crazy, but I'm sure at least a small percentage of the country sits awake examining their mortality maybe once or twice a week, and I'm being politely conservative.

So when I spoke to the Prosecutor before our presentation, I asked him again to explain why it was off limits. He let me know that it was okay to mention death at times, but it wasn't a good idea to name someone specifically when speaking of death or dying. It appears to be bad luck. It seems so simple, so I really don't know why I never thought of that.

"So I can say, 'People are dying from drug addiction', but I can't say 'my brother will probably die from it."

"Right."

"Or, someone named Mary died from too much methamphetamine."

"Right � some people wouldn't be bothered by any mention of it, but a few of them would be offended."

"So no death, maybe just a little."

On the drive out there, I remembered why I left AZ. It's beautiful, but there's no water anywhere, for the most part. And you really miss it when you've always had it near you. If you've never had it, you'd probably never miss it. I used to ask people in AZ all the time if they felt they were missing anything not having it, and always got the same answer.

"What water?"

It's possibly just a matter of perception.

When we got to the reservation, no one was really even awake yet, except for maybe the meth addicts, who are the reason we exist to begin with, even though they weren't invited. So it's like an intervention, but on behalf everyone at once. As the people came in, we greeted them a little bit, but it isn't like greeting people anywhere else; here we 're raised to shake the hell out of someone's hand, (extra points for any females that can break your hand); but on the reservation they aspire to be more humble and low key by not making a three act production out of it. You'd be lucky they even look at you when greeting you; but from our standpoint it means something different when someone greets you and you look down. The Prosecutor was helping us welcome everyone. To their own courtroom.

"Hey, you should tell everyone your background when you greet them."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"What do you mean, like hi I'm so and so, and I'm Irish Italian?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Well - okay. Really?"

I thought maybe he was pulling a Navajo joke on me but nope, he wasn't. And then one of our group asked for clarification.

"So then I should say I'm Vicky - and I'm black?"

"Yes, sure."

Then I started thinking, how awkward is that? How about I tell them I'm so and so and I've got a death complex, and I'm thinking that I'm going to forget and mention the one thing I'm not supposed to, precisely because I'm not allowed? I forgot to ask him what would happen if we slipped and forgot. At least I didn't think they were in the business of hexes. That would seem counterproductive.

Ultimately the meeting went very well, I ended up surprising myself and crying during my portion of the presentation, (= passion). After that, one of the women stood up and told me about their heritage and the importance of family, and a story about herbs as medicines and expressed her gratitude for this talk. In the end, everyone asked us questions and our doctor broke the whole thing down, and it was a very positive experience. The Navajo Nation doesn't have a solution for the very bad drug problem there, so it's likely that we do. It was an excellent outcome, solely basing it on offering hope where there was none. You might insert ponies and rain clouds here.

But then yesterday I received an email from the (highly intuitive) person close to me that I mentioned a few paragraphs ago, and it challenged me somewhat.

Challenged - definition: brought me back to the time when I was six and choked on a piece of hard candy while watching Scooby Doo, and thought I would die. Even though my eight-year-old brother tried unsuccessfully to give me the Heimlich, which he had just learned in school.

So, just the highlights of this email:

"Last week I had a dream that you died. How exactly I won't say, an accident. I'm sorry to say this but I was there, though not in person in the dream just watching from your point of view. Water was involved for a moment."

If someone aims a feather duster at you in the dark, there's a possibility you would know that it was a feather duster, and a possibility that you wouldn't. Right?

And
"I had a feeling last week that something bad/strange was possibly going to happen. This is why I asked if you were still in town."

I don't know, I would say it bothered me about a 9, on a scale of 10. Another politely conservative figure. Then one of my girlfriends called me upset because a guy she likes just had a baby, which is good for him, I suppose. Normally I'm more empathetic.

"Well a baby, wow. Big deal, I just got a death sentence."

Then she said she'd call me back. Besides I was planning on washing the cup in the sink before I went out. But then there was the water. Something about the water -

"Do you think I'll be okay, like with the water and everything?"

"You'll be fine."

"Yes, but how do you know that?"

This is what I've decided. If I am going to have an unfortunate accident, then you guys should really make plans to see me soon, because if I go, you would have known, and done nothing. I thought about having a party, but that doesn't seem like a positive enough reason to celebrate. I wasn't given too specific a time frame, but water is everywhere, from what I can see.

previous - next