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beggars can be choosers

2005-01-03 -

A woman I knew in college told me once that she belonged to a group that believes you pick your family and life circumstances before you come to earth. It�s something like Anthroposophy or something rhyming with that. She wasn�t a loon either, in face she was already quite educated.

A couple of years later I met a lesbian who gave birth to a daughter without the memory of ever having sex with a male. Except the possibility of the time that she was drunk at a party and blacked out, and then passed out. That was probably the night. Anyway, she spawned a daughter, who was really amazing and kind, even though she and her mother couldn�t for the life of them figure out how a father �entered� the picture. The woman tried to explain the situation to her daughter when she was old enough to start asking questions, but still young enough to pee in the bed. All she could come up with was the drunk at a party scenario. At four years old, her daughter told her it was ok, because she picked her Mother out of a lineup of two women before she came to earth. The other woman was a complete drug addict. (This woman was just an alcoholic) She told her mother, �You were really lonely, and you needed me more than the other Mother, so I picked you.�

The two of them most certainly deserved each other, was my primary thought. Second, I remembered that philosophy I heard back in college. I don�t imagine that there�s a clause in there that states �you will remember choosing your current family, and then refresh their memory about it, just in case they don�t remember conceiving you.�

There are some people who even believe that spiders come back as your deceased Grandparents, so don�t squish them. Others believe that two acquaintances in heaven make plans ahead of time to cross paths on the street, as in, one will be a beggar, and the other has a lot of money. I think the object is to not diss your homeless �friend�, once you bump into him. It does make sense in a dramatic sort of way.

If that whole philosophy is in fact true, then I must have been on a sick day when it came time to pick current work situations, and someone else picked for me.

�Ohell will return to work after being with her family for a few weeks, just in time to hear Vicki�s inaudible Asian voice crackling over the loudspeaker �Eppy New Year you guys, dun forget to play office Loddo, nobody win last week!� She�ll then move through the day playing out exciting scenes such as bagel day in the kitchen, and some evil entity swapping her pretty (but fake) wooden desk for someone else�s old (but real wood) desk while she was gone. She�ll smile to herself as she remembers that it was probably just a prior agreement with a friend in heaven. What a silly friend! Indiscriminately, a peace will wash over her, an inner certainty that we are not alone on this planet. To make things even more dramatic, there will be a major spill in the women�s bathroom. Is it blood? No one knows for sure, but heck, no one in the Warehouse wants to clean it up!�

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