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rules for acting/notes for leaving

2004-09-26 -

To Matt's wife, who's pregnant, please don't read this, it tries to show a lighter side of suicide.

.......................................

if you're still there, I just came up with some sample suicide notes. Normally I wouldn't take great pains to avoid offending anyone, but I'm just telling you, because you are going through a lot right now and have been nice enough to read my stuff more than once. You don't need this. For the record, no I don't think suicide is funny, it's just that I have a funny way of showing it. I'm still gonna read your stuff, just don't bother with the rest of this entry at this point; at best, it's childish and empty, and silly. Final warning.

samples /suic. notes

* What.

*Don't call me, I'll call you.

*...that I said to Jimmy because I'll always be the underdog in this family. You know it and so does Dad.

*I thought about not going through with it, but if you read this, I guess I did.

*Just don't go and make this about you.

*Remember it's not your fault. And please remember to give Betsey the (it is your fault) letter.

*PS - No, why don't YOU mow the lawn?

*...so obviously you guys can take the timeshare for this month.

*And Bobby, please feed Rex every day. It would really destroy Mom if anything bad ever happened to him.

* ...response to your question yesterday, yes I am angry. So just think of me whenever you hear tapping at the window at night, or an unexplainable whispering of your name.

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

Not to jump to an unrelated topic, but

I would think that being an actress would not be any kind of fun in the real life. Everything you said in an interview is on tape, so you really can't reneg on much of it, unless you've changed and you mean it.

INTERVIEWER - Do you have a favorite food, Miss X?

MISS X - Oh yes, I do! It's always been Polly O string cheese. That and Ovaltine mix. I just love them!

INTERVIEWER - Wow. Is that ever interesting. Why do you love them so?

MISS X - Well, late one night, in the dead of winter, back in the seventies, I was probably about five or six at the time, and my Uncle Grizzle paid us a visit. He would bring us four huge jars of Ovaltine mix, and my Mom marched directly into the kitchen and scooped it right in the milk container, probably to hide the sour milk taste. We were poor then. It was like all the chocolate milk we wanted, when Uncle Grizzle came by. Then he'd tell us to guess which coat pocket the Polly -O string cheese was in. If we got it right, he gave it to us. If not, we'd starve. Simple ways to develop that sixth sense, Bob.

INTERVIEWER - Fascinating. Let's take a break, and when we come back, Miss X's favorite thing to do when it rains.

**Twenty years later, you're out to dinner, talking to your friends about something trivial.

BETTY JO - Ooh, that cream sauce sounds so good. Miss X, why don't you get it?

MISS X - No way man! I don't eat dairy, it's a killer.

SYRUS -Oh yeah you do. You love it.

MISS X - No, I hate it, I'd never even think of eating dairy. I've been a vegan for God, decades.

SYRUS - That's not what you said in your Bob Levitz interview, in 1996 at the nine o' clock hour, when you said you loved Ovaltine milk.

SOME GUY WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU - Yeah, and Polly O string cheese too! So there!

Saying horrible things about your costars is also unacceptable, not to mention mean spirited.

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